brilligspoons: (fffuuuuuuuu)
Doug told me I'm not allowed to start something with this person while I'm loopy and in so much physical pain I can barely breathe, so I'm going to rant about this here instead. This is a link to the exchange details; I'll just quote the highlights.

I’ve already messaged some of the best authors that I know on tumblr (and I’m sure there are many of you I don’t know about) to see if they’re willing, so now I’m going to ask ALL OF YOUUUU.

I’m not very good at telling you what’s going on so I’ll just put it in a bulleted list. Not everyone can get in, mostly because I want everyone to get something on a level of writing that they’ll enjoy, instead of mentally beta’ing it.


and

Each entry must have your username, an example of your writing ( at least 2k words) and the things you WON’T write.

If accepted, I’ll send you an ask.


and then

Also, I’m going to be in the SS as well. but I’m a right bastard so I’m going to pick whoever’s prompt I like best. As for who’s filling my SS, please let me know if you’re thinking about filling it, and I’ll send it to you. That way I’m not picking THE BEST AUTHOR, OMG OMG. but just someone who’d enjoy writing it.


Words cannot express how much I want to punch this person in the face.

Like. How much elitist douchebaggery can you fit into one tumblr post? What about anything this person says is appealing to writers? And, disregarding the elitism, does she or he even comprehend how incredibly MEAN this is? Is this really what fandom is about? I'm not denying that there are some shit writers out there. I'm not particularly good at catching my own (many and varied) mistakes, and I consistently forget to ask for a beta before I post something. Should that preclude me from participating in an exchange? Do my poor writing choices mean I don't deserve something nice written for me?

IN CONCLUSION SOMETHING IS ROTTEN IN THE STATE OF DENMARK AND I AM FINDING IT REALLY DAMN HARD NOT TO SAY SOMETHING DIRECTLY TO THE PERSON RUNNING THIS THING.
brilligspoons: (oops!)
[livejournal.com profile] therealljidol Week 2: Three little words

About two months or so after I graduated from college, the two friends I'd retained from high school, J and L, got engaged to each other. I was ecstatic, as you might imagine; I loved them both dearly, and they were all-around awesome people. They'd been together since we were 17 (in secret at first, since we weren't allowed to date in school), and the engagement was an inevitability that everyone was looking forward to. I might have done a ridiculous happy dance in my cubicle when I received the text about it, but you can't prove anything.

After work that day, I called J to give my initial congratulations and best wishes. We spent over two hours on the phone, chatting and gossiping and laughing, and at the end of our conversation, she asked me to be in her bridal party.

"I mean, you don't have to," she said.

"Like I haven't been waiting six years for this moment," I replied. "Yes, okay? Don't be stupid."

The next day I got an evite from her for a party her soon-to-be in-laws were throwing that night for them. I had to babysit, so I declined and sent her a text with my excuse (and probably a million sad faces). She wrote back that she understood and that we'd have to have dinner sometime soon. Very shortly after that, I received a text from an unknown number - something about being excited about the wedding and being a bridesmaid with me and all that. When I asked who had sent the message, I was told that it was M (another girl we'd gone to high school with, and not my favorite person at all) and that she'd gotten my number from J.

I...did not react very well. I don't like it when my phone number is handed out without my knowledge, especially to people I had been purposefully avoiding for a couple of years. But I tried to pull myself together - I'd have to see her, and other people I didn't like, regularly if we were all going to be in the wedding party; I could totally be an adult about this. So I sent J a message asking her to please ask me before giving everyone else my number, which I thought was only fair. She didn't call or text me back for a while, and by then the messages from M were a slight annoyance in the back of my mind, nothing serious.

She called me after work that night, and the first thing she said to me was, "I have to ask you to not be in our wedding anymore."

I was stunned.

"I don't think it's going to work out," she said. "You haven't been very supportive, and it might be best if you just step down."

It's been TWO DAYS, I wanted to scream at her.

"Anyway," she continued, "you understand, right? We're good, right?"

"Sure," I choked out. "Good. Whatever. Bye."

I spent the rest of that night crying on my father's shoulder, wondering what the hell I'd done wrong.

Neither J nor L tried to contact me for months after that, and I didn't attempt to get in touch with them either. My parents, surprisingly, supported this - you need a couple of weeks' distance, they said, and the rest of my family agreed with them. So I said nothing, and eventually I stopped crying, though I continued to feel worthless and awful. A couple of days after my birthday that year, however, I received a text from J. Sorry I missed your birthday, it read. We should get lunch sometime soon, y/n?

I ignored it. I haven't spoken to or seen her since she kicked me out of her wedding party. I try not to think about it, which is probably the best thing I could do for myself, but every so often I find myself wishing I still had her cell number. Maybe I'd text her, ask her why? or how could you do that to me? or are you happy, at least? Was it a good wedding? How have you been?

Mostly, though, I want to say go fuck yourself and be done with it - not exactly polite, but it'd be therapeutic, at least.

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