chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling

Finally talked to Doug about how stressed out and overwhelmed I've been since June, and though this hasn't magically made everything better like I'd hoped it would, it IS nice to know that he's aware of it all. Anyway, I'm trying not to think about this shit too much because it makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry when I do, so here is a list of things in my life that are good these days.

+This weekend I'm going apple-picking with paper_tzipporah and Kyleigh! Kyleigh has NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE, so I am maybe a little too thrilled about introducing her to the experience. :D

+In related news, I am going to make all the applesauce.

+Also this weekend: sky_was_green and I are going to have fancy s'mores at Max Brenner!

+Have fallen deep into the abyss known as One Direction and it is ruining my life.

+Television! The Sleepy Hollow pilot was decent (have yet to watch the second episode), and I thoroughly enjoy everything Abbie Mills chooses to be. Elementary is back tonight (YAY). The last few weeks of Project Runway have been intense, but it's cool because most of my favorites are still in the competition. The Voice blind auditions started this week and I may have gotten paper_tzipporah hooked on it COMPLETELY BY ACCIDENT.

I think that's all I'm watching right now. I have to finish Orphan Black and Hell on Wheels and catch up with Almighty Johnsons, but it's hard to make myself do that when I just want to watch Big Fat Quiz Show episodes and 1D vids all the time.

+TWHols assignments went out! Yuletide nominations happened! NaNo is nearly upon us! Maybe one of these days I'll stop feeling like I should never write again and work on something. Anything. Whatever.

+I finally know what my family's holiday plans are. Have literally been asking since May. This shit is usually set in stone at Christmas dinner for the following year.

Alright, back to work with me. Happy Thursday, all. <3

I had so many plans for this weekend. I was going to be productive! Really! But mostly I played WoW and avoided looking at the giant management guide Tamara and Doug want me to read in preparation for when they try to talk the AVP into paying for my PMP course and exam.

Gaming > career. Because that's a healthy way to live.

( Cut because I highly doubt most of you care about my in-game life. )

This weekend some friends and various internet acquaintances were at Wiscon, and the panels they live-tweeted sounded really interesting and made me jealous that I wasn't there basking in other people's intelligence. Cons aren't my thing usually (I've been to exactly two), and I get overwhelmed by masses of people pretty easily these days, but pocky_slash tells me Wiscon sets up quiet rooms and the like? So I'm seriously considering going next year. I'm not 100% committed to it yet, but it's at least a possibility at this point.

Last night I went through my memory box and cleaned out some things that I have no particular attachment to anymore. I didn't mean to do this - I only opened it to put my recent movie ticket stubs in, but there were some things on the top that immediately made me unhappy, so I sorted through the rest. One of the things I threw out was a letter an ex-friend wrote to me during class (from the contents, I surmised that I was away in Arizona at the time). I was confused as to why I still had it, because I stopped being friends with this guy halfway through sophomore year, but reading through it made me wonder why we were ever friends with him to begin with. I had to text Ashley about it, naturally, and we shared a what the actual fuck, younger selves? moment.

I also found my high school yearbook photo. Good golly, my hair was long when I was 18. Oh, and I guess I still had some other things left over from high school in there? Which found their way into the trash, too. Ain't nobody got time for that shit.

Going to try to make some progress on at least one writing project tonight. I'm still avoiding the big bang for now, so I'm not entirely sure what else I want to work on. Quick, someone decide for me!

Back to work, I guess. :(

<3!

Normally the first day back to work after vacation is terrible, but today is terrible magnified 1000 times. I'm pleased that things seem to have gone smoothly while I was gone, and it's relieving to know that most people managed to do what I needed them to without a lot of problems, but it's those few who just can't get their shit together no matter what that are bugging the shit out of me. Just do what I tell you! Don't argue with me! Those are the rules!

Ugh.

Anyway, vacation was mostly great. The kids were well-behaved 99% of the time, the museum was awesome (except for the panic attack I had), and the private suite we had at Yankee Stadium spoiled me for everything ever. Also we went for manicures on Saturday, and my nails are all glittery and wonderful.

I worked on my big bang a little by repurposing a piece of a Teen Wolf story I'd started last summer and never did anything with. I was bummed that it was just sitting in my gdocs gathering dust, so I'm happy that it was easily editable and fits with what I want to write. Still need to outline the rest of the story, but it's nice to have a beginning at least, you know? (Of course, everything I write now will be jossed by the start of season 3 in a few weeks, but whatever, it can be AU as of season 2, it's cool.)

Uh, I also started watching Vikings. I didn't expect to like it quite so much, but it's pretty great, and I want all of the fic for it immediately. I even wrote a little fluffy thing last night for pearl_o. :D? And there's another story I have in the works as of this past Thursday. ( Most of you probably don't care. )

...that may end up being longer than a ficlet. Balls. But yeah, that's a thing.

I suppose I should get back to work now. Hmph.

Work had a 2-hour delayed opening this morning, which is not what I was hoping would happen. I mean. I made it in safely and all that, but my bed was SUPER WARM and SUPER COMFORTABLE this morning, and it's snowing REALLY HARD still. :\ :\ :\

I continue to be exhausted and am also running low on patience and good will. This week has been especially stressful because of the mouse that invaded our apartment. Like, I tend to think of myself as mostly able to deal with various household pests (uh, by virtue of not having my dad around to make them go away anymore), but I've lost my shit so many time in the last few days, it's ridiculous. I hate it, the end.

But there have been some positives, too.

+I claimed a mix for bigbang_mixup, and it's excellent. I think I have the bare bones of an idea for what I want to write, so now it's just a matter of typing up some thoughts and making sure my mixer is cool with everything.

+Doug talked me into buying a blu-ray player. Well. The conversation basically went:

Me: I pre-ordered The Hobbit!
Doug: On blu-ray, right?
Me: No, I don't have a player.
Doug: You should get one of those.
Me: ...I do have that Amazon gift card.

And so on and so forth. The one I bought connects to our wireless, too, so we can watch Netflix in the living room now. :D

+Richard Armitage, Andy Serkis, and James Nesbitt answered fan questions on Twitter on Wednesday. Just. *flail* Adorable!

+I managed to complete and post a story on Sunday. \o/ It was a Hobbit RPF kink meme fill, and I'm debating whether or not to de-anon. Not like I haven't posted RPF before, etc.

+Three more weeks until vacation. I can totally do this.

In conclusion, kitty snuggles:

Ahhh, there goes 2012. Kind of feels like the year flew by - what did I even do? Who the fuck knows.

Actually I wrote a lot. I did my final checkin for GYWO a little while ago, and I managed to write 116,545 words this year, which. That's huge, for me, regardless of the fact that I didn't make the pledge total. Whatever, I'm super pleased with myself right now. Oh, and for shits and giggles I checked my 2012 stats on AO3, and apparently I posted 58,258 words. WEIRD. It's like I don't even know myself anymore. :D!

I pledged 150k again for 2013, but I'm making my personal (much more realistic) goal to write 10k per month. I think this will work out nicely. And speaking of GYWO...


GetYourWordsOut: One Last Time (Probably)!
Pledges & Requirements | GYWO.net

It's possibly the last year theemdash and her cohort are running this, so if any of you need the extra encouragement (or whatever), think about pledging!

In other 2013 resolutions news: man, I really suck at reading. Even my unread comics pile is giving me nightmares right now. In the interest of not sucking anymore (and because I have SO MANY NOVELS I want to read and reread), I've decided that my monthly reading goal for the year will be two new-to-me books and one old-to-me book. I'm capable of more, but my brain WILL rebel if I try to force more on it right off the bat. Stupid attention span, nobody asked you. Anyway, I'm going to reread The Hobbit (shhhh) in January, and I also have Liar (Justine Larbalestier) to read. Any suggestions for another new-to-me book, friends?

I'm not even going to pretend to make other resolutions. :D

Spending the rest of the day reading fic, and then the evening with mcwonthelottery and metonymy! Happy New Year! <3

I really have way too many fics to start/finish to get into this one at the moment, but goddamnit, this sounds like the best fic idea ever. So, first of all, if you aren't reading Kelly Sue DeConnick's Captain Marvel, you should start. It's one of my favorite series right now, and it's pretty much amazing, and I love everything about it. THESE ARE ALL VALID REASONS FOR YOU TO START READING, OKAY? Anyway.

But but but in #1, there's some really great interaction between Carol and Steve that made my heart grow three sizes. I have a Serious Thing for platonic friendships between men and women, and it just hit me in all the right places, and I really need for there to be more of it immediately. Uh, and then a while back on tumblr, someone (maybe metonymy?) said something about wanting to read all the Carol+Steve fic? And, oh god, I want to write about them going on a road trip together so badly.

And, like, Carol is still on the tail end of her identity crisis (or something), and she needs to get away from the dog-and-pony show that being an Avenger entails these days. I feel like Steve has this open door policy with pretty much everyone? So she shows up in the middle of the night and wakes him up and is like, "We have to go now." And he's all confused, but she pulls him out of bed and throws clothes at him and packs some stuff in a bag.

Then he's all, "Maybe I should say something to Tony...?" And Carol just says NO, HE'LL TRY TO TAG ALONG, THIS IS A TONY-FREE ROAD TRIP.

And then they travel cross-country and hijinks happen, and it turns out that Steve really needed to just have a couple days to himself as well. Just, I mean, everything that happened/is happening with Osborne, and trying to deal with Tony without getting into yet another screaming match, plus all the other shit going on that the Avengers have to deal with - it's gotta weigh on a guy, you know? So the two of them drive all over the place and have a week and change to just be regular friends on vacation.

But, you know, I should probably finish the Raven/Angel florist AU, and the XMFC Parasol Protectorate fusion, and get started on my Teen Wolf big bang, and the Stilinski family feels fic I started for mcwonthelottery the other day, and and and. Oh god.

*flail*

So last night I was complaining about how there just isn't enough kissing fic in my life - like, as much as I don't understand the appeal of makeouts in real life, I just want all of my favorite characters to kiss each other a lot? Which I feel is a totally just and righteous demand to make. Look, makeouts seem like nice things in theory, so there should be more examples of it.

Whatever, I just want there to be a lot of kissing and I don't care what fandom it's in, shut up.

Anyway, paper_tzipporah promised me commentfic if I prompted this on LJ. I think this will benefit everyone in the long run, so if you feel like joining in, you totally should. Look, I even wrote Hawaii Five-0 OT4 makeouts last night. Maybe I will write more this afternoon. Who knows.

:D?

I'm participating in teenwolf_bb, which I feel is an excellent use of my time. I've even managed to plot out most of the story, and I'm SUPER excited for it! It may or may not end in Lydia/Stiles/Derek - the way I've got it set up, it could very well turn out to be gen? So we'll see how THAT goes.

*dances*

Tonight we're going out for dinner and drinks and generally making the other patrons of Sunset Cantina hate us, and tomorrow I'm meeting up with Brenda for dinner and seeing Bourne Legacy. Saturday and Sunday will most likely be spent sleeping, cleaning, doing laundry, and/or writing.

Speaking of - are any local folks interested in meeting up for writing group on Sunday? Possibly in Harvard or Central, or even Porter? I am flexible with the location and time, of course. Let me know!

Apparently we live in a world where I have David Mitchell/WILTY dreams and mcwonthelottery does not. I don't really understand it, but that is a thing that happened last night. I mean, I like David Mitchell and all, I just didn't think my admiration had reached dream level already.

Anyway. The weekend was good! I got to hang out with friends on Saturday, and then yesterday afternoon I watched the EE of Return of the King and ended up drowning in feelings in re: Eowyn, Eowyn/Faramir, and the 4 hobbits, as you do. I'm actually surprised at how little I remembered of the extended scenes - it was sort of like watching the whole thing for the very first time again, which pleased me. I'm also (finally) starting to get excited for the first Hobbit movie to be out. I like to think I can trust Peter Jackson not to fuck it up, but fingers crossed, just in case.

In other news, I like it when I'm able to cross things off my lists.

-write the first Queer Fest fic (posting date: 5/28)
-finish the Suits BBMU story and have it beta read (posting date: 6/5)
-figure out where I'm going to host the BBMU mix (posting date: 6/6)
-write second Queer Fest fic (posting date: 6/10)
-finish the Marvel ladies BBMU story and have it beta read (posting date: 6/11)
-write third Queer Fest fic (posting date: 6/16) / I'm about a third of the way through this one.
-write both ZombiFICation fics and submit to mods before 6/23 / One of these has been submitted already.

The Suits story drove me up a wall towards the end, but it's DONE and mostly ready for posting tomorrow. So now I just have to write the rest of the Marvel ladies AU, figure out what I'm doing for the QF fic due on the 10th, and then I'm...in a good spot for a change. :D

*flop*

I've had the first part of this story in my In Progress folder for months, and I decided yesterday that my reward for finishing the first BBMU would be to work on it. The prompt came off a bingo card, so if you're wondering why the hell I even started writing it in the first place, that would be your answer.

( one-sided Steve/Tony, non-explicit bloodplay, sort of. 621 words. )

...yeah.

Back to work! Fuck Monday!

I have a terrible mental block right now. Like, I've gone through most of my in progress docs and done some editing here and there on the BBMUs to make sure all the pieces connect properly, but I cannot for the life of me add anything new without wanting to burn the whole thing. :\ I'm hoping that maybe doing some drabbles/commentfics will help? So let's bring this back for a couple hours:

Comment with a character or pairing and a brief prompt. I'll give you a few sentences in response.

:D?